I still have my job at the hell hole. I am planning on doing some other things so I can work for myself, make my own hours, be home with my baby, and never have to work in corporate again. I HATE that atmosphere. I am currently working on a plan to start my 3 businesses. Mary Kay/make overs, Send out cards, and my paintings. To view my paintings check out my other blog: www.expressionsinlifeandart.blogspot.com but please do not comment on there. Comment on here because I dont want to mix this anonymous blog with that one. also, visit my website for sendoutcards. www.sendoutcards.com/christen These are very unique and cool things to make a lot of money. I make between 250-500 on the portraits. My goal; one day is to paint huge ones over fire places and in dining rooms of the family or the kids. I can match the rooms and it is especially great for people with big homes that need big artwork to fill it. I cant keep up with my paintings if I get too many orders so I have to be home and not working. The cards are awesome because you can create your own cards, use your own pictures, design it how you want, and use your own handwriting. You do it all on the computer, and a physical card is sent to the recipient. You can send a gift if you want too. Also, its perfect for business owners for the holidays and birthdays and thank you cards for referrals etc Its he best damn thing Ive ever seen so I signed up to be a distributor. I am currently trying to get a couple more painting orders to pay for a networking group so I can join the group and build from there. If you have time to look at it, you can send a card for free. I think you have to put in your email but I am the one who gets that email notification.
I am a hard worker and busted my ass at the hell hole and made "MM" a bigger producer. I know I can do this myself with 3 jobs. I just have to work hard. No prob. I am now about to make a flyer for my art work to pass around town. I need to do some samples too so I can get them out there. If you visit the sites let me know what you think. About the products and about my plan. Any advice is greatly appreciated!!! THANK YOU!!!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
NO ONE READS THIS BLOG
thats why i dont write on it, Rafa. I asked readers to comment and I dont think anyone even read it and certainly no one commented.
I need to figure out a plan for my finances and career steps. Maybe I will post that. Be sure to tune in because I NEED HELP following my dreams!!!
I need to figure out a plan for my finances and career steps. Maybe I will post that. Be sure to tune in because I NEED HELP following my dreams!!!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
I cant post a blog on my phone, but i can comment. So i wanted to post what i think about at work. How much i actually hate my job. so i wanted to have a conversation about hwat we like about our jobs and what we hate about our jobs!
heres mine:
I work for Finacial advisors as an assistant
like:
1. i like that noone hovers over me and im not micro managed
2. i can play my ipod in speakers
3. i can try out new marketing ideas and am not bogged down with work
dislike:
1. im bored to friggin death bc i dont have work to do!
2. i hate the work I DO have to do
3. dont really like the people
4. i hate sitting at a desk all day starig at a computer
5. we have no windows so there is no fresh air
6. i dont really have friends there
7. my talents are not used at all!
so comment bout wha tyou do and your likes and dislikes so i have something to do at work!! lol
heres mine:
I work for Finacial advisors as an assistant
like:
1. i like that noone hovers over me and im not micro managed
2. i can play my ipod in speakers
3. i can try out new marketing ideas and am not bogged down with work
dislike:
1. im bored to friggin death bc i dont have work to do!
2. i hate the work I DO have to do
3. dont really like the people
4. i hate sitting at a desk all day starig at a computer
5. we have no windows so there is no fresh air
6. i dont really have friends there
7. my talents are not used at all!
so comment bout wha tyou do and your likes and dislikes so i have something to do at work!! lol
Monday, February 21, 2011
"friends"
Ya know how I have commented before that i don't have any friends? I want a friend that is a true best friend. Someone I can trust, and tell them anything and know they will never judge me. They wont judge me for sleeping with a married man, they wont think I'm crazy when I see and hear dead people, they do things I wanna do, not just drag me to places they want to go to, they care about me and dont just blab about themselves. I want a true friend. Someone I click with. I used to have that. In grammar school. Until some bitch stole my friend from me. It's so lonely.
I have a friend, Sandy. I met her when I lived in my last apartment complex. She has 4 kids. Single mother. When I met her she had 3. The father was some loser in jail in Boston. She got no help. So one day my daughter started playing with her daughter about the same age. We became friends. I babysat for her many times and tried to help her as much as I possibly could. Let the girls stay at my house so she could get a break, fed them, bathed them, and had the place clean and the kids in bed by 9. She would come home at 10 to peace and quiet. I loved those kids. She always took my daughter for me too when I wanted to have a guy over or go out. I could keep my secrets with her. I could tell her about my psychic abilities, my problems, my life. We helped each other all the time. We always said we would get a house together that we didn't need a husband.
Then she started sleeping with the maintenance guy. He would be at her apartment all the time where he would see me, naturally, and he and I also became friendly. So for my birthday I wanted them to take me to a strip club. He took me to a Brazilian place. It sucked by the way because those girls wanted nothing to do with women. But that night we went back home and he impregnated her. As the weeks went on, he wanted to take me to some other strip clubs and buy me porn and shit. Then one day I asked him if he had a camera I could borrow. "yes" he answered. I was going to take some sexy photos of my friend. (a different friend) He gave ti to me and I went to my friends house. I took one picture and the battery died. He met me at my house with the battery and when he saw what we were doing he of course wanted to stay. We all got drunk, she started to make out with me, he took pictures and the night was over. No sex with him. Nothing. We thanked him for the use of the camera. Sandy eventually found out about this. She stopped talking to me for a LONG time! She finally came around and we became friends again.
She is the one who helped me when the dominican came over and my mom was horrible to him. She let him come to her house. Before I know it they are friends on facebook, and he is very friendly with her. When my mom was being horrible and racist, she was the one who took him for me so he didnt have to stay at my house while i was at work.
Long story short...
the psycho kept calling me and texting me over and over and over trying to tell me something and i refused to hear him. I finally called bc i was scared I was either in danger or he gave me some kind of STD. Turns out he wanted to tell me that Sandy is not my friend and that they were sleeping together the whole time I was blogging about him being so great. By now I couldnt care less but if I knew bout it then I sure wouldve been crushed. He had proof of emails voice mails i actually listened to, and details of where he walked and took the train and shit. I confronted her and she denied it of course. I sent her the voicemail so she could hear herself speaking.
Heres why I dont care that much.
1. I guess she feels vindicated. that's fine. If it makes her feel better I am actually happy for her. I feel bad she was still so hurt and angry with me for the pictures. And by the way, she told him all about it! and he repeated the whole story to me.
2. I was in love with MM the whole time. Although in the beginning I really tried to move on and be with the new guy. It wasnt long that I just wanted to run back to MM's arms.
3. I guess I am used to friends not being real friends to me. They always hurt me somehow.
4. Maybe because all I care about right now is making a decision about a baby inside me and having MM in my life, I am not wasting energy on them.
Whatever the reason I really dont care. I mean I care enough to have confronted her and to blog about it but in no way am I crushed. Now as usual I was betrayed by a girl and have one less person to confide anything in. The sad part is I am not even upset about it because I am so USED TO IT! that is sad. Maybe one day I will find a friend.
This is why I value the blog readers SO much!
I have a friend, Sandy. I met her when I lived in my last apartment complex. She has 4 kids. Single mother. When I met her she had 3. The father was some loser in jail in Boston. She got no help. So one day my daughter started playing with her daughter about the same age. We became friends. I babysat for her many times and tried to help her as much as I possibly could. Let the girls stay at my house so she could get a break, fed them, bathed them, and had the place clean and the kids in bed by 9. She would come home at 10 to peace and quiet. I loved those kids. She always took my daughter for me too when I wanted to have a guy over or go out. I could keep my secrets with her. I could tell her about my psychic abilities, my problems, my life. We helped each other all the time. We always said we would get a house together that we didn't need a husband.
Then she started sleeping with the maintenance guy. He would be at her apartment all the time where he would see me, naturally, and he and I also became friendly. So for my birthday I wanted them to take me to a strip club. He took me to a Brazilian place. It sucked by the way because those girls wanted nothing to do with women. But that night we went back home and he impregnated her. As the weeks went on, he wanted to take me to some other strip clubs and buy me porn and shit. Then one day I asked him if he had a camera I could borrow. "yes" he answered. I was going to take some sexy photos of my friend. (a different friend) He gave ti to me and I went to my friends house. I took one picture and the battery died. He met me at my house with the battery and when he saw what we were doing he of course wanted to stay. We all got drunk, she started to make out with me, he took pictures and the night was over. No sex with him. Nothing. We thanked him for the use of the camera. Sandy eventually found out about this. She stopped talking to me for a LONG time! She finally came around and we became friends again.
She is the one who helped me when the dominican came over and my mom was horrible to him. She let him come to her house. Before I know it they are friends on facebook, and he is very friendly with her. When my mom was being horrible and racist, she was the one who took him for me so he didnt have to stay at my house while i was at work.
Long story short...
the psycho kept calling me and texting me over and over and over trying to tell me something and i refused to hear him. I finally called bc i was scared I was either in danger or he gave me some kind of STD. Turns out he wanted to tell me that Sandy is not my friend and that they were sleeping together the whole time I was blogging about him being so great. By now I couldnt care less but if I knew bout it then I sure wouldve been crushed. He had proof of emails voice mails i actually listened to, and details of where he walked and took the train and shit. I confronted her and she denied it of course. I sent her the voicemail so she could hear herself speaking.
Heres why I dont care that much.
1. I guess she feels vindicated. that's fine. If it makes her feel better I am actually happy for her. I feel bad she was still so hurt and angry with me for the pictures. And by the way, she told him all about it! and he repeated the whole story to me.
2. I was in love with MM the whole time. Although in the beginning I really tried to move on and be with the new guy. It wasnt long that I just wanted to run back to MM's arms.
3. I guess I am used to friends not being real friends to me. They always hurt me somehow.
4. Maybe because all I care about right now is making a decision about a baby inside me and having MM in my life, I am not wasting energy on them.
Whatever the reason I really dont care. I mean I care enough to have confronted her and to blog about it but in no way am I crushed. Now as usual I was betrayed by a girl and have one less person to confide anything in. The sad part is I am not even upset about it because I am so USED TO IT! that is sad. Maybe one day I will find a friend.
This is why I value the blog readers SO much!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Self Analyzing Interview
I copied this from another blog. Please copy and paste to yours so I can read your answers.
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
Pets are gross...
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
To time travel!!!
3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
my neighbors
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
invest it, adopt some kids, take in foster kids.
5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Watching my Roseanne DVD's. I watch them EVERY night.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Getting to the place in life where I can LET someone love me.
7. What is your bedtime routine?
Watch Roseanne DVD's!
8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
um... my demented relationship? work
9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
Rafa write his blogs.
10. What kinds of books do you read?
feng shui and design books.
11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
selling my art!
12. What’s your fear?
being old and alone
13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
No. who cares?
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
Rich and married!
15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
go back to sleep!
16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
he would be single!
17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Takisha Shaniqua Zepowitzensteinfeldenbergmanson (that would be every jewish ending name put together)
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Havent I already?
19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Odwalla drinks.
your turn... rafa, slowburn, florida dom....
1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
Pets are gross...
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
To time travel!!!
3. What is the one thing most hated by you?
my neighbors
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
invest it, adopt some kids, take in foster kids.
5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Watching my Roseanne DVD's. I watch them EVERY night.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Getting to the place in life where I can LET someone love me.
7. What is your bedtime routine?
Watch Roseanne DVD's!
8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
um... my demented relationship? work
9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
Rafa write his blogs.
10. What kinds of books do you read?
feng shui and design books.
11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
selling my art!
12. What’s your fear?
being old and alone
13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
No. who cares?
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
Rich and married!
15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
go back to sleep!
16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
he would be single!
17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Takisha Shaniqua Zepowitzensteinfeldenbergmanson (that would be every jewish ending name put together)
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Havent I already?
19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Odwalla drinks.
your turn... rafa, slowburn, florida dom....
Friday, February 4, 2011
NBA guy
He called the office today. Just to ask me out. Wanted to take me out to dinner or lunch. Told me to think about it and gacve me his number. Ugh... I am definitely flattered, no doubt. But scared! He's 6'9"!!! He's way too tall for me. But I find him intriguing. Honestly, his dick must be massive. I'm scared just thinking about it! Not sure what to do. I have dominican boy who wants to be my boyfriend really badly, married man who is totally in love with me and is mustering up courage to see if he can get a divorce, and the giant!
I thought looking for girls would distract me but I seem to invite drama into my life. Theres always someone coming into my life. Should I complain though? Really? Its a compliment I guess. I am not the most confident person in the world so it does make me feel better about myself. Maybe I'm not the unstylish fat, average girl i think i am. Hmmm....
Anyway I wanted to write the name of the player so you could google him but I'm not sure if I should...
share your thoughts anyway.
nothin else on my mind really...
I thought looking for girls would distract me but I seem to invite drama into my life. Theres always someone coming into my life. Should I complain though? Really? Its a compliment I guess. I am not the most confident person in the world so it does make me feel better about myself. Maybe I'm not the unstylish fat, average girl i think i am. Hmmm....
Anyway I wanted to write the name of the player so you could google him but I'm not sure if I should...
share your thoughts anyway.
nothin else on my mind really...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
FSF update
These are some of the women I have been emailing with.
This girl turned me on. I love her hair. She is Latina and she makes me wanna go in a public bathroom, throw her up against the wall and start making out with her. Then I will drag her into the stall where I will undo her shirt and pants as I kiss her passionately. I would hold her against the side wall to the bathroom stall and slide my fingers inside her as i kissed her. I would finger her and make her moan and cum all over my fingers.
This girl is beautiful. The problem with her though, is that she is looking for a serious relationship; her soulmate. She reminds me of myself in that pic. The short hair, the inviting smile. This girl is the girl I would actually consider HAVING a relationship with! She would be my best friend and my lover. She would make me happy, always be there for me, and be faithful. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that. She's not interested though because she wants something serious. :(
This last girl is online seeking a man but contacted me. Probably bi. She is hispanic and as you can tell, sensual. I REALLY like her. I think she would be great in a threesome. I can see her giving a slow sensual blow job on her knees. I would get under her and eat her out while she did that. I can imagine her being really intense and not stopping til she made me cum. I imagine her fingers rubbing my clit and squeezing my nipples as I am riding the guy. I could imagine er saying "oh yeah, you like that?" stuff like that. Then I would want her to get fucked hard from behind and eat me out while she's getting fucked. I wanna hear her scream and then bury her face in my wet pussy. Goddam!
I have had a bunch of emails saying "you are so beautiful" or "you are so hot" or "you are very sexy." One girl told me "I wish you lived in texas because I would be going down on you right now" Damn! If anything, this hadsmade me feel so good about myself! Women are awesome!
So what do you guys think so far? And of my fantasies?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
porn, NBA and comedian, Brittney, lesbians, born-agains... Lets talk about it.
Here is whats up with me. Let's talk about it.
I just watched like 4 hours of porn. Usually i'd feel kind of dirty but this time I didn't. I guess I was really horny? I made myself cum over and over. I'm a little sick in the head thats for sure. Heres the sickest part. I can remember being a kid and fantasizing about an old man sitting on a chair with a whip as I was on all fours on the floor and he was dominating me and making me obey. I was like TEN! I remember always having the fantasy of him telling me sit down and rub my clit and maake me cum while he watched. This got me wet. Now if I hear these stories of sex sleaves for real, I get SO upset and sickk to my stomach, yet the porn I go to is all that. Makes me seriously believe I was a sex slave in a past life. Why else would I have a fantasy of that as a kid and even know what it was? I remember being 13 maybe, and thinking to myself, I want to take that hair clip and clip my pussy. I clipped my lips, my pussy, my tits.... and I loved it! SICK.
I absolutely love Brittney Spear's new song. I love every song of hers that comes out. Some people think she should retire. I dont think so! She gets better with each album!
I got hit on by an ex NBA player yesterday at work. He is a client. I had NO clue who he was. I dont watch sports. He was 6'9"!!! I am 5"3". He's telling me he likes short girls my height. I was flattered and scared at the same time! The MM over on my other blog is only 5"3". It doesnt bother me for the most part. But the guy I just met is 6"1" and I only come up to his chest. Tall is sexy. But 6'9"? I would never be able to defend myself from him if I had to. But if he was good to me, I'd always feel safe. But imagine the size of his dick? His hands are like 3/4 the size of a basketball? yikes! Then I went to see a comedian up in connecticut last ngiht who i think is really sexy. 6"4". In heels, I come up to his chest. But I'd date him if he liked me. He is my favorite comedian and he was SO NICE. offered me and my guy friend to stay in his suite! I'm disappointed we didnt but quite frankly i didnt want to share a bed on a pull out couch with him. I would have wanted to sleep with the comedian!!!! NBA guy? In heels I come up to his stomach! Seriously? Why would you like the short girl and not the poor girls who are taller than all the men and give them a chance to be with someone their height? These tall men are just turning me ON!
I joined plenty of fish to find a girl to date. I have no real friends and I am hoping to make friends... with benefits if I am lucky. It made me feel so good about myself to hear how many women think I am beautiful. I love a womans body. I love to lick their bodies all over and play with htier nipples. I want to make a girl cum all over my fingers and lick it off. I also love to dominate and be dominated. With men or women. I want to pull a girls hair and make her submit to me as I tease her and bite her neck and lick her. There are a couple girls who want to meet me. This should be interesting.
I need new friends though. I cant stand my so-called friends. They are judgmental born-agains. They sleep around yet jusge someone who is gay. Go fuck yourselves bitches. Last time I saw them they lectured me on the married guy and pointed out all my faults. Telling me I am an emotional roller coaster ride and how I feel so low of myself to date a married guy. Even if this is all true which it is, you dont tell me that! If you were a best friend and wanted to talk to me about it ok. But as someone I havent talked to or seen in months? Who asked you? And btw they are both single, pushy, demanding, spoiled, unattractive bitches. good luck.
Let's talk about this. Please offer your opinion and thoughts.
I just watched like 4 hours of porn. Usually i'd feel kind of dirty but this time I didn't. I guess I was really horny? I made myself cum over and over. I'm a little sick in the head thats for sure. Heres the sickest part. I can remember being a kid and fantasizing about an old man sitting on a chair with a whip as I was on all fours on the floor and he was dominating me and making me obey. I was like TEN! I remember always having the fantasy of him telling me sit down and rub my clit and maake me cum while he watched. This got me wet. Now if I hear these stories of sex sleaves for real, I get SO upset and sickk to my stomach, yet the porn I go to is all that. Makes me seriously believe I was a sex slave in a past life. Why else would I have a fantasy of that as a kid and even know what it was? I remember being 13 maybe, and thinking to myself, I want to take that hair clip and clip my pussy. I clipped my lips, my pussy, my tits.... and I loved it! SICK.
I absolutely love Brittney Spear's new song. I love every song of hers that comes out. Some people think she should retire. I dont think so! She gets better with each album!
I got hit on by an ex NBA player yesterday at work. He is a client. I had NO clue who he was. I dont watch sports. He was 6'9"!!! I am 5"3". He's telling me he likes short girls my height. I was flattered and scared at the same time! The MM over on my other blog is only 5"3". It doesnt bother me for the most part. But the guy I just met is 6"1" and I only come up to his chest. Tall is sexy. But 6'9"? I would never be able to defend myself from him if I had to. But if he was good to me, I'd always feel safe. But imagine the size of his dick? His hands are like 3/4 the size of a basketball? yikes! Then I went to see a comedian up in connecticut last ngiht who i think is really sexy. 6"4". In heels, I come up to his chest. But I'd date him if he liked me. He is my favorite comedian and he was SO NICE. offered me and my guy friend to stay in his suite! I'm disappointed we didnt but quite frankly i didnt want to share a bed on a pull out couch with him. I would have wanted to sleep with the comedian!!!! NBA guy? In heels I come up to his stomach! Seriously? Why would you like the short girl and not the poor girls who are taller than all the men and give them a chance to be with someone their height? These tall men are just turning me ON!
I joined plenty of fish to find a girl to date. I have no real friends and I am hoping to make friends... with benefits if I am lucky. It made me feel so good about myself to hear how many women think I am beautiful. I love a womans body. I love to lick their bodies all over and play with htier nipples. I want to make a girl cum all over my fingers and lick it off. I also love to dominate and be dominated. With men or women. I want to pull a girls hair and make her submit to me as I tease her and bite her neck and lick her. There are a couple girls who want to meet me. This should be interesting.
I need new friends though. I cant stand my so-called friends. They are judgmental born-agains. They sleep around yet jusge someone who is gay. Go fuck yourselves bitches. Last time I saw them they lectured me on the married guy and pointed out all my faults. Telling me I am an emotional roller coaster ride and how I feel so low of myself to date a married guy. Even if this is all true which it is, you dont tell me that! If you were a best friend and wanted to talk to me about it ok. But as someone I havent talked to or seen in months? Who asked you? And btw they are both single, pushy, demanding, spoiled, unattractive bitches. good luck.
Let's talk about this. Please offer your opinion and thoughts.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
worst neighbors
oh my god do i hate my neighbors. underneath me. this African or Jamaican family. not sure what their accents are. they are SO LOUD! SO OBNOXIOUS. They have 2 kids. a 4 yr old girl and 2 yr old boy. all i hear is running back and forth all day and night, things slamming, something always falls, and you always know that is followed by crying. this kid cries 4-5 times a day. and i mean hard crying! they fuckin woke me up at 4am by letting this kid scream and cry and wouldn't get him! i finally banged on the floor and it stopped. oh my god i hate them. then they bought the daughter a fucking karaoke machine for the tv they already blast under my living room!
i have no peace and no quiet. They have majorly stopped my meditation which i need to do in order to deal with frustrations such as them! i can tune out some noise, but the floor shaking and screaming and crying? no.
UUUGGGHHH!!!!
i have no peace and no quiet. They have majorly stopped my meditation which i need to do in order to deal with frustrations such as them! i can tune out some noise, but the floor shaking and screaming and crying? no.
UUUGGGHHH!!!!
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